Stale Gum's Chicle Parody Contest

To quote Beardy:

Check out Stale Gum if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Yes, this is meant to be in jest. I don't know Chris Olds personally. I don't know him professionally. But I know that he writes for Beckett. I don't care for Beckett. And I'll tell you why. Then I'll get back to this parody card.

Beckett puts together a decent magazine for tracking baseball card prices. They also have magazines for other sports. I like reading the bits of articles, but I don't buy one every month. I don't have enough cards to even want to track their prices.

About a year ago I tried using Beckett's card inventory tracker tool database thingo on their site. Way too buggy for me, which lead to lots of frustration. First impressions do make a difference. I don't use it anymore.

I guess the real problem that I have with Beckett is misplaced. I have my problem with dealers and shop owners that see Beckett as the pricing bible. It isn't. It is a guide. That's all. Beckett states it very clearly. The dealers don't seem to read that part. And the dealers think that every card they want to sell you is in Near Mint condition. They aren't. Really. Look at them. They aren't. So, don't say that you'll sell me that card at 75 % of 'book' (read Beckett) because you're doing me a favor and you want to move product. That 1975 commons card isn't in NMT condition. Don't pretend it is. Put the "book" away. I don't use it for a price guide.

Now, I might be wrong. Free trade market is based on what someone has and what someone else will pay for that item. Sure, there are other components in the mix, but I'll make you an offer. You can accept it or counter offer. Finally we'll agree on a price and I'll purchase it or we won't agree and I won't purchase it. Use the 'book' as a guide to get the discussion started. Then put it away.

So, sorry Beckett. I'll lower my dislike of you to 'meh' level. I'll even start typing out your whole name rather than B*ck*tt on my blog. I'll even admit that I entered one of your contests over this weekend.

Now, back to the card. It has been said, for many months, that the Beckett Blog recycles information that was found within the posts of other card bloggers. I have not actually done a detailed study of that. But, I will say that I have seen certain bloggers the following words in their posts: Topps, Upper Deck, Baseball Cards, 2009, license. Later, while looking at the Beckett Blog, I have seen Chris Olds use these same words. Clearly he is borrowing them (subtle humor implied). Chris Harris, over at Stale Gum, suggested that Chris Olds is a "serial plagarist/Topps apparatchik". And that gave me the idea for this parody card.

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of the word parody is:

1 : a literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule
2 : a feeble or ridiculous imitation

That's what this is. Or better yet, a feeble attempt intended for comic effect.