Well, not quite, but I did receive in the mail my own copy of the 2008 Standard Catalog of Baseball Cards, 17th Edition, edited by Don Fluckinger.
1,848 pages of baseball card goodness. Like I'm going to get some sleep tonight.
And for the rest of the dialog...
Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.
Navin R. Johnson: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.
[the Sniper points to Navin's name in the phone book]
Sniper: Johnson, Navin R... sounds like a typical b*st*rd.
And no, there are no Johnsons or Navins on page 73. Just 1940-1946 Brooklyn Dodgers.
My thanks to Steve Martin for allowing me to lift some lines from The Jerk.